Thursday, March 03, 2005

Some Melted Butter, Please

Okay, I am convinced. I do not nearly pay as much attention to local happenings as I ought to. Why, I completely missed this story until it was all over:

Bubba, the 23-pound lobster that caught national attention when he was spared the cooking pot, died yesterday, nearly 24 hours after his transfer to Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium.
People in this world are starving! We don't need to be wasting food by sending it to the Zoo!
Wholey's in the Strip District acquired the giant lobster Thursday and had offered him for sale. One bidder offered $500 to save him and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals lobbied to have him returned to the ocean.
Wholey's is unquestionably the best source of seafood in town. I would eat more of that stuff were it no so expensive, especially when someone bids $500 for a single lobster. Someone should lobby to have PETA "returned to the ocean".
Robert Wholey III decided to donate Bubba to PPG Aquarium, which planned to monitor the lobster for a week or so before sending him to a Ripley's aquarium.
Ripley's? I don't believe it.
"Unbelievable," Wholey said when he learned of Bubba's death. "He left here happy, alive and kicking."
Yes, until he found out that he was being excluded from the food chain and died of sorrow because he would no longer be able to satisfy some connoisseur's appetite. Meanwhile, the mushroom people at PETA are trying to use the lobster's death to garner publicity by accusing others of doing the same thing:
...Karin Robertson, who manages PETA's Fish Empathy Project, wishes Wholey's would have taken PETA up on its offer Monday to drive Bubba to the Atlantic coast to be released within a day.

"It's disappointing because people used him as a publicity stunt, and it ultimately caused his death," she said.

She said people should consider adopting a vegetarian diet. "Hopefully, Bubba's legacy will encourage people to think of animals as individuals."

That reminds me of the time I went to a German restaurant and ordered Hasenpfeffer, which was made with both pork and rabbit. I tried to distinguish between the two animals as I chewed down on each chunk of meat.

The last word should belong, rightly (as any Seinfeld viewer knows), to a marine biologist. Hand me a bib and pass me some melted butter, I'm ready to crack some shell!

[Marine biologist Randy]Goodlett disagreed [with PETA's Robertson].

"They should have sold it to someone who could have cooked it," he said. "It's a shellfish. It's not like it's a pet."

No comments: