Monday, March 21, 2005

Why Yes, I Am a Model

The last few years have not been kind to me. Okay, let me be honest: I have done a terrible job of taking care of myself for most of the last ten years. My weight has gone up so much that I can't weight myself on the new bathroom scale; the numbers don't go up that high. I rarely exercise, I pay little attention to how much I eat each day, and my sleep patterns are irregular. All of this is a direct result of fathering four children; everything I do is based on their schedules, as well as their personalities. I look forward to the day when I can take them outdoors on a regular basis. Which is to say, when I no longer have to worry about manic toddlers running out into traffic, or into the deepest darkest part of the forest.

Oh yes, and my beard is getting white. I had hoped that it would wait until after I turned forty, but no. That is probably a result of being a father of manic children also.

What can make me feel better about myself, short of going on a crash diet or driving myself into the ground with an intense exercise program? Well, how about a card in today's mail from International Model & Talent Management? This was not an invitation to a swimsuit or lingerie fashion show (which would have been nice), but an invitation to try my hand at being a model. The photos on the card depict the typical skin and bone model; surely this must be some kind of joke.

Nope! The text informs me that "IMTM works with models of all ages, all sizes and all experience levels". That's me! I am a 37 year old fat guy who is anything but photogenic. Perfect! How much do I get paid for standing here and letting you take my picture?

No, I'm not going to do it, but I would probably make more money doing this that I make in any job I have ever had before.

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