Wednesday, April 13, 2005

That's Cool -- Does She Have a Sister?

What is it with these criminals? A few weeks ago, we had the bandit disguised as Pluto, and now some guy from Florida has been trying to lure children into his pornmobile by telling them that he is dating Ashlee Simpson. The kids were as smart as he was stupid, so he presently resides in the Allegheny County Jail (where he can watch cable television and shoot hoops). But come on -- Ashlee Simpson? I suppose she has some sort of appeal for teenyboppers and tiny tots, but it that really impressive enough to convince kids to do your bidding?

The only real reason that Ashlee is famous is that she has a really hot older sister. If someone came up and told me that he had dated Jessica Simpson, I would be impressed. What guy wouldn't want to date Jessica Simpson? You could claim that you are responsible for the turmoil that (according to the tabloids) afflicts Jessica Simpson's marriage. It might be hard to swallow, but at least it would show that you have standards. Yep, if you're going to pick a Simpson sister, go for Jessica.

But Ashlee? Definitely the sign of a child molester.

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