Thursday, June 09, 2005

How Not to Get Away With Crime

Sometimes I think that I should just change the name of my blog to "Krim'nulz iz so stoopid" and forget about everything else. What is it with these people who try to do something illegal and then do something idiotic to make it worse for themselves? From this morning's PG:

A Forward Township police officer was struck yesterday by a motorist fleeing a grocery store in Elizabeth where she had tried to write a fraudulent check.

The officer remained in the hospital last night. The extent of his injuries were unknown, but witnesses said he was taken to the hospital by helicopter.

The motorist, Debra Nelson Palmer, 39, of Brownsville, was arrested and charged with attempted homicide, aggravated assault, and other offenses.

See what I mean? She thought she was just trying to rip off a store. That would have been bad enough had she been caught and charged at that point. Instead, she destroyed her chances of getting off with a light sentence by trying to kill a cop. Imbecile.

The trouble began about 1:22 p.m. when Forward Officers Jason Miller and Robert Curdie were called to the Giant Eagle on Route 51 in Elizabeth by the store manager who reported two women attempting to write a bad check.

The women, who police identified as Palmer and her 17-year-old niece, attempted to leave in a white 1989 Pontiac Grand Prix and ignored several commands from the officers to stop the car. Palmer's two children, an infant and a 5-year-old, were also in the car, police said.

Was she trying to teach these children some kind of lesson about how it's fun to be bad? The baby wouldn't have a clue, but I hope that the 5-year-old comes away from this understanding that lying, stealing, and killing are bad things. Not to mention endangering the lives of children.
Palmer, whose license is suspended, accelerated and struck Miller after Curdie reached inside the driver's side window of her car in an attempt to stop the vehicle. After striking Miller, Palmer stopped the car and was arrested.
A little too late for an "Oops", there. Why does it not surprise me that she was driving with a suspended license? Oh yeah -- because she thought she could get away with it. Modus operandi for these folks. One wonders why she even bothered to stop.

Tim M. Madden, 40, of Elizabeth Township, a cook at Blaine Hill BBQ, across the street from the Giant Eagle, was laboring over an outside grill when he heard the commotion.

"I hear somebody yelling something and when I looked I just saw a cop rolling across the parking lot," Madden said. "There was a car sitting right next to him.

"Then he jumped up and drew his gun and he said, 'Get out of the car.' "

It's good to hear that the cop wasn't too badly hurt, and that he performed proper police procedures while pursuing prosecution of the perpetrator. If the woman had hit me with her car, I (not being a law enforcement officer) would have dragged her by the hair out of her car, kicked her across the street, and tossed her on the grill like a shrimp on the barbie. Well, no I wouldn't, but I would certainly think about how good it might make me feel if I did.
Madden said 20 to 30 police cruisers arrived at the store, and traffic in both directions on the busy road was closed to accommodate the helicopter that took Miller to the hospital.
"20 to 30 police cruisers"??????? That sounds like a bit much. Keep in mind that this is an estimate given by the guy who was grilling barbecue across the street. A report of an attempt on an officer's life will certainly bring in the reinforcements, but more than ten is unlikely.

Palmer was also charged with simple assault, reckless endangering, reckless driving, fleeing and eluding police, and driving with a suspended license. Her niece was not charged.

Palmer's children were released to family members.

And hopefully learned an important lesson about why what Mommy did was wrong. Notice that the list of charges does not include anything about writing a bad check. After everything she did in the parking lot, the bad check charges are pretty insignificant.

Is there a special prison for the criminally stupid?

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