Saturday, July 09, 2005

Where Do You Wear Your Pack?

Earlier this week, my New Favorite Blog On the Internet posted a picture of the hostess standing next to a man wearing something that looks like a wide leather jock strap on the outside of his pants. (Of course, they were in line to see Star Wars.) The hostess insists that this strange accessory is a fanny pack. Since she was there in person, I have no reason to doubt her. But the mere mention of the term "fanny pack" brings to mind something that has been bothering me for years.

Why do we call it a fanny pack when it is worn on the crotch?

Think about it: If people wore the packs on their fannies, then the term "fanny pack" would make sense. (Actually, I do know someone who wears her fanny pack around the back. It smacks her across the top of her butt when she walks, which is kind of sexy, but I digress.) The proper term for a pack worn at the front of the waste should be CROTCH PACK.

The problem with this is that a term like "crotch pack" may be considered unacceptable in some social circles. What can we do to change the status quo? If every individual begins referring to his/her/its fanny pack as a "crotch pack", we can create a more open and honest society.

Come on, crotch pack users! Don't misrepresent your portable storage units. Call them what they really are. You will be a better person for it.

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