Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Holiday Vanities

Well, the Christmas cards started rolling in this week. I almost feel bad, since I haven't sent a traditional Christmas card to anyone since 2001. Blame the Internet. And my kids. Oh hell, just go ahead and blame me. I'm the one who refuses to pay exorbitant US Postal Service rates for old fashioned mail. Sending cards and letters used to be a joy. Now, it's "Don't expect me to buy cards and stamps for three dozen people we barely know if you want me to get you a present this year".

A personal letter sent via email doesn't take up so much space in the house, either. If I'm going to send someone a card, it should be the kind of card that I would appreciate getting. A whole lot of razzle dazzle is what I mean.

For instance, take this card that I received today. The sender is someone whom I got to know in college, and he's one of the nicest and smartest guys I've ever met. He never stops halfway, which is what makes his cards worthwhile. Last year's card was send from England. This year's card comes from right here in the USA, as indicated by the US postage stamp with a picture of...

...HIMSELF. No, not Baby Jesus. Or Santa Claus, either. I mean HIMSELF. The guy who sent the card. On the postage stamp is a picture of the fellow who sent me the card. He is wearing antlers and grinning about it.

Holy cow! I mean, holy reindeer! Who ever came up with this idea? Something called Zazzle.com, apparently. I doubt that I would ever do something like this myself, but it's fun to see others humiliate themselves that way. And it's cute if you do it with a baby's picture, but I wouldn't want my kids to get run through the post office like so many excessively high home heating bills. This particular image on that particular postage is the front runner for Christmas card of the year in my house, I'll tell you right now. It is.

A guy I know! Wearing reindeer antlers! On a real live postage stamp! Well, at least he wasn't wearing a red nose. A fake one, anyway.

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