Monday, January 23, 2006

The Cream That Dripped Blood

Have you ever sat down to enjoy a nice delicious hot fudge sundae, and tasted salty flavorful human blood running down the side of your dessert? Neither have I -- but someone else has!

A Georgetown mother has filed a lawsuit claiming a fast-food restaurant served her son a hot fudge sundae that contained human blood, leaving him frightened that he might contract a fatal disease.

The owner of the fast food restaurant, who ran unsuccessfully for the state House of Representatives, said the so-called blood was strawberry syrup.

Once when I was a small boy sitting in my high chair at the dinner table, I was convinced that I was crying tears of blood. My mother thought that the red stuff on my face while I was crying came from the ketchup on the hot dog that I had been eating. She was probably right.

According to court documents, Jara bought food, including four hot fudge sundaes, from the drive-thru window at the McDonald's on U.S. 113 in Georgetown on Dec. 30, 2004. Her son, then 12, dug into his sundae and "recognized the taste of blood and, upon careful inspection, noted a red substance on the side of the sundae cup as well as mixed into his ice cream," the lawsuit says.

Jara then went into the store and spoke to a swing manager, who confirmed that it was blood, the lawsuit says. The manager, Joshua Ferrell, also said the employee who prepared the sundae had an injured, bleeding finger, according to the lawsuit. Ferrell told Jara that he had advised the employee to keep a bandage on his bleeding finger.

Assuming that the sundae mother is telling the truth, I have to ask, What part of "cover your ass" did this swing manager not understand? And for the sundae kid, How is it that you are so well-acquainted with the taste of cold blood? Are you a hockey player?

Here's the reaction from the proprietor of this house of fine Scottish cuisine:

He said strawberry syrup probably had clogged the machine. Ferrell, he said, should not have said the substance was blood.

"What is he, a botanist? No, he's a 21-year-old assistant manager who saw her screaming in the lobby and said 'whatever you say lady.' "

A botanist? A BOTANIST???? What the hell??? Are assistant managers at McDonald's now supposed to be experts in plant blood? (Is there such a thing as plant blood?) Or is a Botanist someone who worships Botan? (Which would have been somewhat appropriate had the kid died from eating the sundae.) This case is messed up on all sides.

Neither Ferrell nor the other employee work in the restaurant any longer.
Hmmm, I wonder why.

I'm not going to take sides in this matter -- that jury is going to be in for a heck of a ride -- but I will let the franchise owner have the last word, because it reminds us why we should be skeptical about these kinds of lawsuits:

"I hope she gets the same thing the Wendy's lady got," he said, referring to the recent California case involving a woman who planted a severed finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili to extort money from the fast-food chain. The woman was sentenced to nine years in prison for the scam.

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