Friday, February 17, 2006

Getting Pesed Off

Last June, I posted about a 2,300 year old dead chick who currently takes up space right here in western Pennsylvania. Her name is Pesed, and she's back in the news:

For more than a century, people have wondered what kind of girl Pesed was.

"Was she old, young, good-looking -- what was her life like and how did she die?" said Samuel Farmerie, curator of cultural artifacts at Westminster College in New Wilmington, where Pesed has resided since 1885.

One of a handful of people who have seen Pesed's just delivered and painstakingly built facial reconstruction, Farmerie now knows what the 2,300-year-old Egyptian mummy looked like in the last days of her life.

A lot of guys are naturally curious about her. Since we are hard-wired to reproduce the human species, there is a part of us all that wants to find out if this is the kind of girl we would want to have making our babies, if she hadn't died so many centuries ago. So, now that her face has been reconstructed, where's the picture? Was she a total babe? Prying eyes want to know.

So will the rest of the world in about six weeks, when Pesed's facial reconstruction is unveiled at the small Lawrence County college.
Six weeks? Well, we've waited 23 centuries, so another few weeks won't be too painful. Meanwhile we can sit back and consider how the word "unveiled" makes the upcoming proceedings sound like a strip show for a necrophiliac, for in truth, that will be the only type of person interested in what lies beneath the veil.

Unlike some other mummy reconstructions, which have baby-soft skin, Pesed -- mummified between 300 and 220 B.C. -- actually looks like the senior citizen she was, Farmerie said. Scientists peg her age at 60 to 70.

"Her face has crow's-feet, the kind of features you do not see on other reconstructions, no matter what their age," he said.

In other words, this ain't your girlfriend, it's her grandmother. If you think about it, though, "seventy years old" does not automatically mean that a woman has lost her charm, grace, and beauty. Just the other day I was reminded that Sophia Loren is over seventy, and she has taken good care of herself as she has aged. Could Pesed be an older version of Sophia?
Pesed was hunchbacked, her 5-foot, 5-inch frame wracked by osteoporosis, and 60 percent of her teeth were missing by the time of her death.
Ah, she was probably ugly when she turned 21, too. And no matter had decrepit she turns out to be, she can't be any creepier than that freaky King Tut reconstruction that was revealed last year.


jipzeecab said...

I'm sure Bill Clinton will do an obligatory drop by and pronounce that "Pesed" was quite a babe! Just don't leave him alone with the mummy..

Nicko McDave said...

I wouldn't leave Bill Clinton alone with anyone's mummy...