Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Okay, I'm Done. Now Where's My Dough?

One of the advantages of being a low-income family is that you get a snotload of tax refund money back every year. It took all of two hours for the spouse and I to assemble our paper forms and log in, complete, and submit our electronic forms with federal and state agencies. As easy as pie! And the money I'm getting back is obscene.

It's almost going to be enough to cover the debt that I get into during the year in order to cover my living expenses.

By sheer coincidence, Wrestlecrap.com replays a classic craptacular entry on wrestling great Irwin R. Shyster (IRS) this week. What could be more brilliant than an evil tax collector gimmick? Yes, what indeed.

My favorite IRS moment occured at the Civic (now Mellon) Arena here in Pittsburgh about a dozen years ago. I had convinced a friend who was not a wrestling fan to come out to the matches with me. Irwin was walking down to the ring with wireless microphone in hand and proclaimed that "It is a well-known fact that Pennsylvania is home to more tax cheats than any other state in America!" My friend, who happens to be the most anti-big government constitutional conservative I have ever known, suddenly lit up, pumped his fist in the air, and cried, "YEAH!!!!" The gimmick worked! I told you it was brilliant.

Now to figure out how much I owe the municipality...

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