Saturday, April 29, 2006

Another Idiot Who Deserves To Be Starving And Homeless

First Neil Young, now Pink.

There's nothing like an asshole who gets rich on the basis of having little or no talent, then goes out in public and demands that other rich people ought to feel guilty for being rich. The rich really are different. They're even different from one another. How much money does Pink have? Does she have any conception of charity, or is she content to elect a government that will ostensibly provide for everyone's needs?

I just had the opportunity to hear the audio of Pink's new song "Dear Mr. President" on the NARN webcast. The prolonged whine set to music deserves a longer, harsher treatment than John Hinderaker and his Fraternal underlings were able to dish out. In other words, I am going to do more than just giggle at these lyrics:

Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
And make sure at least two Secret Service agents go along to keep an eye on her at all times.
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
Well, he would have to pretend. He is better than you. In fact, on the "best people in the world" list, you're number two, and he's tied with everybody else for number one.
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly
No, he's not your real father, and no, he's not going to tell you if he wears boxers or briefs.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
I wish you were on the street with them instead of making lousy music. As for the President, he would be encouraging faith-based organizations (like CHURCHES, if you've ever heard of them) to help out and making charitable contributions to the cause with some of that money that you think he shouldn't have.

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
You, maybe? Christians are nice that way.

What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

Well, as long as the face looking back is his own he ought to feel quite well.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
"The rest of us"? What twisted approval ratings are you looking at? And who do you include in "the rest of us"? The homeless? It's a free country, despite what you might think. You can abandon your music career anytime to go live on the streets. If I see you, I'll be sure to give you a nice stiff kick in the teeth.

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
That sounds like a good question to ask a pro-abortion politician.

How do you walk with your head held high
He has the Secret Service run ahead to sweep for landmines and banana peels so he doesn't have to look down. (Or, if you're the one trying to make him slip and fall, contaminated used condoms.)

Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

No, he can't, because you are a gross skank.

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy

No, he came from a good-sized family and always had a place at the table in spite of his "Prince Hal" youth.

How can you say
No child is left behind
Because, sometimes, you just have to come up with a corny name for a bill in order to sucker Congress into giving it bipartisan support.
We're not dumb and we're not blind
You're right, if you mean "dumb" in the proper sense of unable to speak. You're not that at all, to my dismay.
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell

That's a fairly apt description of the federal government's role in public education in America. But somehow I don't think that's what you mean.
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away

That would be the President's brother Jeb, Governor of Florida, whose daughter violated the state's drug laws a few years ago.
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay

That would be Vice-President Dick Cheney, and he and his wife have always been loving and supportive parents to their daughter. Pink, where are you coming up with this crap?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say

"I love you, George!"
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine
Another insight into the world of Pink! "He's not like us because he doesn't do drugs or drink liquor anymore!"
Let me tell you bout hard work
Yeah, I'd like to hear what you've done for a living besides dancing and singing.
Minimum wage with a baby on the way

Is this autobiographical? Did you have to leave the house to eke a out a meager living as a pop star? I make a relatively low salary (somewhat about minimum wage), I have a mortgage, and I have four kids with one on the way, but I don't go whining to the government about it. It's my life, my problems are my own, and I will deal with it myself. Or are you just whining to one man? Do you want George Bush to pay people's child support out of his personal funds? Yeah, you probably do.
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away

His house? You mean the White House? Has the Secret Service given you a verbal bitch slap yet concerning this thinly-veiled threat?
Building a bed out of a cardboard box

My kids do stuff like that all the time.
You don't know nothing bout hard work

Yeah, we get it, he's a rich guy and he always has been. Other than that, you don't know nothing bout him.

And finally, to sum up:
How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

No, he wouldn't! He wouldn't be able to get to sleep after getting a look at the nightmare that is you. Do us all a favor, Pink: Stay away from the President. Stay away from the microphone. Stay away from ME. And, if you really care about the homeless, stay away from THEM. The last thing they need is a herpes epidemic.


R said...

Oh my goodness. I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. Thank you for this. Can I post on my blog with credit to you?

Nicko McDave said...

Yes, please do! It's always nice to know someone out there appreciates my output.

Pittsburgh Critical Mass Blog said...

It sounds like you're jealous. Is your own music career having some troubles?

Nicko McDave said...

Music career? What music career?