Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Everything Young Is Old (News) Again

The other day, some twit from Bethel Park wrote a letter to the Pittsburgh Moist-Towelette newspaper and explained why blogs are not a source of news and how they waste his time (as if he was forced against his will to spend hours each day looking at blogs). Intending to fisk this piece of Moron Mail (thank you LF), I thought about some of the stories that have been covered by blogs like Power Line and Captain's Quarters at times when the mainstream media turned a blind eye to news, or tried to blind us to the news. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that the letter writer was essentially correct. Big time blogs like PL and CQ are the rare exceptions; the vast majority of blogs are done as hobbies by small timers who aren't really concerned with being players in the big game. I, for one, am a hobby blogger who doesn't crave attention. No one should expect to read breaking or continuing news coverage here. For example, this post certainly is not news, nor should it be news to anyone who reads it:

Neil Young is an asshole. He has always been an asshole, and he always will be an asshole. Mr. Young is a waste of space; he is a waste of carbon, oxygen, heart, lungs, vocal cords, precious bodily fluids, and any other elements/organs/substances/matter/anti-matter that went into his creation. Nothing based in logic, reason or facts can explain why such a talentless jackass could ever have achieved the level of fame that he has attained over the last forty years. I am one Northern Man who doesn't need him around, anyhow.

Why yes, I am composing this in response to the news of his latest album release:

A full tracklisting and biting lyrics have emerged of Neil Young's forthcoming album 'Living With War' - and it seems that as had been reported the entire record is a concept album about the policies of George W Bush at home and abroad.
Neil Young is a no-talent bum whose career has become an obsession with mocking and criticizing President Bush. He has a lot in common with the editorial page of the Moist-Towelette that way. Sure, he can say whatever he wants about GWB, but keep in mind that he's a Canadian citizen. When is he going to come out with an album about Stephen Harper?

According to the website Down With Tyranny, which claims to have been given a personal playback of the record by Young's manager Elliott Roberts, the album was written and recorded in nine days following a conversation the singer had about the politics of the Bush administration with Steve Bing, a film producer friend who funds radical causes in America and recently donated $10 million to a study of global warming.
The only thing worse than a jerk with too much money is a communist asshole with too much money. Steve Bing ccould buy the world and reshape it in his image with the kind of money he has, but that would never overshadow his greatest accomplishment. If Mr. Bing and I had a conversation about that, I might take nine hours to write and record an album about it. Politics would not even play a role in it.

The political tone is set by opening track 'After the Garden', which kicks off with the lyrics : "Won't need no shadow man runnin' the government." It's followed by the title track, which incorporates part of 'The Star Spangled Banner' as Jimi Hendrix famously did at Woodstock in 1969.
You know, "After the Garden" would be a great title for the opening track on my hypothetical album inspired by my hypothetical conversation with Steve Bing. Lots of Garden of Eden imagery going on there, if you know what I mean.

'Shock And Awe' refers directly to the bombing of Baghdad with the lyrics: "Back in the days of shock and awe, thousands of children scarred for life/ Millions of tears for a soldier's wife, both sides are losing now."
"Shock And Awe" would also work on my album, but the line would be something like "Back in our night of shock and awe"...wait. I was supposed to be talking about Neil Young here. Neil Young, the Saddamist/terrorist enabler from Canada.

'Flags of Freedom' returns to the theme with the lines: "Today is the day our younger son is going off to war."
Your younger son (whoever you are) enlisted in a volunteer military. He is not a child, and he must have a pretty good idea of what entering military service means. It's dangerous, and you can easily get killed.

'The Restless Consumer' is built around the refrain "Don't need no more lies" while 'Let's Impeach The President' is even more forthright, with the words: "Let's impeach the president for lying, misleading our country into war/Abusing all the power that we gave him and shipping all our money out the door."
"The Restless Consumer" could easily be about gas prices, but I suspect otherwise. Impeachment usually doesn't make sense unless you're a power-hungry Vice-President looking to move up a notch. Remember the Clinton impeachment? If he had been kicked out of office, we would have had an incumbent President Gore running in 2000. Do the Dems really want to make Dick Cheney president?

Other titles include 'Lookin' For A Leader' and 'Families' and the album ends with another Iraq song, 'Roger and Out', which includes a 100-piece choir singing 'America The Beautiful'.
Ah, dear Mr. Neil Young, you are America's passive/agressive lover. You love us so much, you hate us. Why not just come out and admit that you want to be appointed Dictator of North America, funded by your wealthy pal Steve Bing. Speaking of whom -- "Roger and Out" would be the perfect title of the closing song on my aforementioned hypothetical album, seeing as how that's a good description of how he handled the aftermath of his experience of a lifetime.

6 comments:

jipzeecab said...

I first heard Neil Young in November of 1970 in the home of a nextdoor neighbor of mine who was a Commissioned Naval officer.
To this day I have never been able to understand why anyone would part with their hard earned cash to listen to a whiny offkey singer whose sound "grates" on ones eardrums.

Nicko McDave said...

What was Neil Young doing in your neighbor's home?

jipzeecab said...

On an old Vietnamese produced 33 record..

jipzeecab said...

Some enterprising GIs took tapes of solo unacompanied except for his own accoustic guitar songs done by Young to Vietnam. They found a record counterfeiter and produced a series (there were three or four of these) Neil Young "unplugged" type albums which were then sold to American soldiers who were stationed there. The quality was worse than you would find in a pre wwII 78 and Young's raspy high pitched voice made it all the more horrible. But the soldiers liked it and brought the albums home with them.

Gilbert said...

You're all morons.

Nicko McDave said...

Every single one of us? To how many people are you referring, exactly?