Saturday, June 24, 2006

Boca Burgers

For $100 it ought to be a lot bigger than 20 ounces.

A hundred bucks might buy you more than six dozen burgers from McDonald's, but the the swanky Old Homestead Steakhouse will sell you one brawny beef sandwich for the same price.

Boca Raton Mayor Steven Abrams could barely speak between bites as he devoured the 20-ounce, $100 hamburger billed as the "beluga caviar of sandwiches."

...which does not mean that it tastes like fish eggs. (I hope.) It means that stupid rich guys will pay more ransom money, per ounce, than their lives are worth to the average kidnapper for the privilege of eating a big hamburger in some fancy pants dining room. This thing makes Denny's Pub specialty, the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, look like a great bargain. Would you rather pay $100 for a 20 ounce burger or $350 for a 15 pound burger?

Let's do some math:

-- At $100 per 20 ounces, the caviar burger is $5 per ounce. (Does the DEA know about this?)
-- The are 16 ounces in a pound, so the Denny's burger is $350 for 240 ounces. This comes out to $1.46 per ounce. That's still more lunch money than I can afford, but if I were in a higher income range I might be willing to pay that much, especially if it means that I won't have to worry about what's for supper (or breakfast, or lunch...) for a whole week.

Now consider this: I'm planning on burgers for supper tonight. Pre-cut, packaged, frozen patties. 80 ounces of beef for somewhat less than ten dollars. That's less than twelve cents per ounce. Am I the only sane person in the world? You've gotta be nuts to pay the price for either the Boca burger or the Denny's burger.

You know what incentive I would need to buy one of those big burgers? A happy meal type of prize, like a Hot Wheels car. But, instead of a little hand-held toy, I would want a full-sized, all-frills-included, sports car. Something nice and fast to drive to the hospital when I start feeling chest pains from eating several pounds of beef.

(This entry posted in memory of Honnistaibe, whose ghost somehow knew what I am going to be cooking this evening.)

1 comment:

Honnistaibe said...

Not to be confused with the "soy burgers" from Madison, WI who were a primary sponsor of Michael Feldman's "Whatta You Know?" Saturday morning NPR program.