Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Gold That Falls

No, I didn't understand the whole reasoning behind the Pork Authority's rebranding as "Port Authority Gold" a few years back. The whole thing seemed silly and pointless, and had nothing to do with providing cheap, efficient, reliable service. Apparently the Porkers agree, since they are dropping the whole nonsensical "gold standard".

Everything is going to be uniform, just like in the old days. No more "Welcome to the neighborhood" paints jobs in foreign languages. No more expensive decals covering the windows. No more "who the hell is that?" pictures of old-time Pittsburghers no one ever heard of on the buses.

It's not a fare reduction or a service increase, but it's a start. At least it shows that the Pork Authority is beginning to take its services seriously.

One other thing:

Old promotions also included public appearances by "Gold Pan Dan," a character costumed as a prospector of the mid-1800s Gold Rush era. The costume has been placed in storage.

Gold Pan Dan? That sounds like shorthand for local sports hero Golden Panther Dan Marino. I never heard of this prospector character, and I am glad I never saw him. He sounds a bit too much like the bums who wander through city buses asking riders for change.

Those guys always get kicked off of the bus. Just like the "gold standard".


jipzeecab said...

You woke me up this morning with PAT GOLD..
You might remember that I once served on the Allegheny Transit Council (that rider based organization which is supposed to advise PAT).
At a meeting one night Skoultanis's marketing assistant showed up with an ad campaign they were proposing. The whole thing was about how they were going to strive for "excellence" in every phase of their operation. At the end of the meeting we were given four sets of colors to choose from that they said they would paint everything to symbolize the effort. I don't remember all the sets but the red and white one and the Pgh sports colors (black and gold). The group of course chose the red and white by 60 %..the color the buses were already painted (although I confess to having chosen black and gold).
We had an Executive Committee meeting the following week (I was the elected Secretary).
The President said "They tried to hoodwink and manipulate us at the last minute into choosing the "gold" color. I just found out that 9 brand new gold colored 28 passenger buses have been sitting under wraps in the Harmarville garage for the past thirty days!"

Nicko McDave said...

Your story prompts me to expound upon the meaning of the title of this post. (For those who don't know, it's from a song called "Heaven and Hell" by by Black Sabbath.) The full verse goes:

They'll tell you black is really white
The moon is just the sun at night
And when you walk in golden halls
You'll get to keep the gold that falls
It's heaven and hell

It strangely comports, in a way, with the Pork Authority's manipulation of the council.