Thursday, September 14, 2006

News From The Home Front

From my home front, that is. Things don't happen very often in my neighborhood, but when they do, they're quite newsworthy, like the illegal alien who drowned in the pool.

This morning I awakened to learn that a suspected drug dealer made a rooftop escape from the police -- less than five blocks from my house! If the chase had led them a little closer to home, I could have watched it all from my sons' bedroom window.

WPXI, channel 11, has the guy's picture. He wears earrings. One would be bad enough, but he has holes poked in both earlobes. Forget the drug charges; the sight of those earrings would be enough to get me chasing the S.O.B. off of my lawn with a splintered broom handle if he ever showed up.

Also, his name is a cheese. I will never sprinkle that cheese on my spaghetti again. I prefer Parmesan anyway.


jipzeecab said...

Is one really "saved" if one spends three and a half weeks on a respirator before expiring? Of course maybe he had a religious conversion..
Earrings and cheese..remember when one ear meant gay and the other straight..they must be trying to confuse everyone now..
can you really taste the difference if the "r" or the "p" comes in one of those 8 oz Delallo or Kraft jars? sort of like really being able to distinguish between the tank merlot or cabernet they offer by the glass in local restaurants.

Nicko McDave said...

I think the Romano has more of a tang than the Parmesan. I can't remember the last time I had R, to be honest; I grew up in a Parmesan family, and my children are all Parmesan loyalists.

I first heard about the earring thing in tenth grade. We kids heard that a pierced right ear meant gay. Of course, there were many of us who thought that either pierced ear meant that. It just didn't seem right.