Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hammer Time (2007 Edition)

There's no way I can let February 14th pass without wishing all of my readers a Happy Greg Valentine's Day!

Despite the fruity-sounding stage name, Valentine was no romantic pansy. Put him in a dog collar, and he'll still kick your butt. He's the kind of guy who gets mad and gets even. (If you're in the mood for some serious Greg Valentine dog collar violence, click here.)

He's the kind of guy who is willing to sacrifice himself for his art, including dressing up as an Elvis impersonator with no pants. (He was smart enough to strategically position the guitar while being photographed.) And he still looks manlier than the Honky Tonk Man.

Whoever the "Black Jack" is who illustrated this caricature, I wouldn't want to bet real money on his chances of getting away unscathed if Valentine ever gets hold of him. Greg Valentine breaks people's legs for a living.

I've never seen the show "24", but I have heard enough to know what it's about. If Jack Bauer wants to get a terrorist to talk, he brings out Greg Valentine to break both of the terrorist's legs. That's what kind of a bad ass Valentine is.

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