Friday, March 02, 2007

She Who Would Be Queen Of Heaven

NEWS FROM THE WORLD OF ARCHAEOLOGY:

THESSALONIKI, Greece - A 2,200-year-old statue of the goddess Hera has been found built into the walls of a city under Mount Olympus, home of Greece's ancient gods, archaeologists said on Thursday. The headless marble statue was discovered last year during excavations in the ruins of ancient Dion, some 53 miles southwest of Thessaloniki.
Here is what the existing statue looks like:

Some bits are obviously missing. Educated folks like us are well aware of who Hera was, and to whom she was married:
Hera was the long-suffering wife of Zeus, a notorious philanderer, according to ancient mythology.
Here is a rare photograph of the philanderer-king-god:

Something that this article will not tell you is that the missing bits of the statue are not lost forever, but do in fact reside in an undisclosed location somewhere in the Midway section of Saint Paul, Minnesota.

The missing bits have been reconstructed somewhat clumsily, as seen in the photo below:

We have hired an electronic photography expert with some aptitude in the area of ancient sculpture to produce an estimated 98% accurate reconstruction of what the statue must have looked like intact, in its original form:



Does this look like someone who would like to dominate her philandering husband and place herself above the gods?

Oh, I couldn't possibly comment.

1 comment:

jipzeecab said...

That is hilarious!