Thursday, September 06, 2007

Steely McBeam Brings Joy And Happiness To The Lives Of Everyone

On the few occasions when I have mentioned the sport of football (the American kind) in this blog, I made it quite clear that I am not a fan of the game. I can sit down and watch it on TV and understand what's going on, but I just can't get into the obsessive fanaticism that consumes otherwise civilized human beings who make football a big part of their lives. It might be relaxing and entertaining to watch, but the mania of football fanaticism puts me right off. Sometimes it even makes me crabby.

My mood is about to change. And all because of one man.

When Steely McBeam made his public debut a few weeks ago, I didn't really have an opinion one way or t'other. Who cares about mascots? Mascots don't throw passes, catch interceptions, or take down the other teams' little sissy quarterbacks. Mascots don't have stats, or celebrity girlfriends, or lengthy interviews on ESPN shows. They just go out, act cute and/or funny, and stay the hell out of the game.

So why the big stink about Steely McBeam?

After all, he has made the Burghosphere a much more interesting place to visit. For instance, he has provided the Carbolic Smoke Bong with some of its best material ever. ? & Anthony have benefited from Steely's presence. Google search "Steely McBeam" and you'll find plenty of funny (and not-so-funny) people producing some of their most hilarious output, all because of this larger than life black-and-gold figure.

PittGirl, meanwhile, is just MEAN.

It's been a long time since Pittsburgh was blessed with such joke fodder as Steely McBeam. He makes us all smile and laugh! (Except PittGirl.) I even made a Steely McBeam joke in a meeting with my boss this morning. Never has anyone possessed the power to turn a groan, accompanied by an eye roll, into a laugh, accompanied by a big smile, quite like Steely McBeam.

Oh yeah, then there's this:



That, more than anything, justified Steely McBeam's existence in my eyes. Send him out into the communities, let him meet the children, and see how well he plays. If the kids like him, then keep him. If not, then sayonara.

Personally, I like the big dude. I might even watch a few games this year just to catch a glimpse of his antics. And I say "Get stuffed!" to those who, like PittGirl, would prefer to "go and kill the yellow man"(as Springsteen would put it).

2 comments:

jipzeecab said...

I, like many of the fans and the selection committee thought the "beam" in his name was a play on steel beams everywhere but it turns out that the Butler woman who submitted the winning entry meant "Beam" as in JIM BEAM Bourbon.
Also... the Steelers when they got all the adverse reaction said the mascot wouldn't be on the field or sidelines but outside Heinz Field greeting the fans.

Nicko McDave said...

So his name is combination of Scotch and Bourbon.

That's...unholy.