Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Big Musical Mistake

I have always preferred the sound of the electric guitar to the piano. This is as good a reason as any:

On the other hand, I love organ music, and harpsichord music as well. A fast-paced heavy metal song would translate well to Lurch's preferred instrument, I think.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Conspiracy Theory

Perhaps PittGirl bet the continued existence of her blog on a Ted Stevens victory in Alaska.

Nuked From Orbit

See, this is what happens when I spend my Internet time watching YouTube junk and trolling stupid message boards, instead of keeping up with my favorite blogs. I admit, I have fallen behind in blog reading lately. Sometimes I get bored with blogs and blogging. And I forget about it.

Then, a few days later, I wonder what PittGirl is going on about these days, and when I go to The Burgh Blog, it ain't there. The Girl has obliterated it. The current site, the original Blogger site, the cache, all gone. It might sound silly, but I really want to be sure that I saw the last post before it all went away. Nothing is there but a mushroom cloud in the form of a Dear John letter.

In the greater scheme of things, it's just one more meaningless distraction from the important things in life. But it was FUN, and maybe that's more important than we think.

I don't know who PittGirl is. I don't know if she's somebody I've met. For all I know, she might be related to me. Does it matter? PittGirl is everybody's friend, and everybody's sister.

And if her identity ever becomes public, I hope to God that she really is a girl.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I Might Need To Start Burning My CD Collection

I have been a Deep Purple fan for many years. I enjoy listening to every iteration of the band. I own all of the albums on CD. I also like most of the so-called "spin-off" bands, like Rainbow, Gillan and Whitesnake.


Whitesnake was in the news recently. It seems that singer David Coverdale, who became famous as a member of Deep Purple in the mid-1970s, has taken a very personal interest in the 2008 presidential campaign. Right around Election Day, Coverdale heard one of his most popular Whitesnake tunes being played during a John McCain campaign rally that was shown on CNN. He did not appreciate his song being used in that way. Mr. Coverdale, we learn, acquired US citizenship not long ago. This means, of course, that he can vote -- for Barack Obama, as it turns out.

This is not surprising. Rock N Rollers have a lot in common with Obama supporters, which is that a lot of them must be on drugs, or at least seem like they are. (McCain supporters, in contrast, are so sober that most of them just stare at the ground and wish there was a pill that they could take to make it all go away.)

Coverdale's objections are understandable. McCain's people should have been vetting the artists whose songs they wanted to play at public appearances in order to avoid being embarrassed when the washed-up fatheads complain. This is just typical of how badly mismanaged the campaign was from start to finish.

On the other hand, I now have a personal dilemma. Since I am now aware that David Coverdale is among those who have publicly expressed admiration for Barack Obama, should I commence incinerating those prized recordings in my collection in which he appears? They are in fact my physical property because I did pay for them, so I have every right to burn them if I want. I am torn right now. I have never felt this kind of animosity for someone on the A list before.

Good thing I don't spend good money on this kind of crap anymore. When it comes to celebrity culture, I just don't know who I can trust anymore.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Senator Night Live

It looks like Al Franken is losing in his bid to win election the the US Senate from Minnesota. As long as we're taking a serious look at former Saturday Night Live people as candidates for US Senate, why not look to Alaska? Ted Stevens, who has been in office almost as long as I have been alive, won reelection but will never get a chance to continue in office due to his legal problems. Governor Sarah Palin will need to appoint a replacement when Stevens steps down. Why not her new best friend Tina Fey? If nearly half of Minnesota though Franken could be a Senator, surely Alaska shouldn't have a problem with Tina. I'm sure that Governor Palin would just love to let Tina stay at her place. And when Tina needs to leave her daughter to attend sessions in Washington, Bristol can babysit.

Obama's Natural Constituency

This seems to be fairly typical of the kind of people I have to work with day in and day out.


This post and comment thread at PittGirl is so treacly and drippy that it makes me want to vomit. Stop being so nice, damnit!

Things That Go BOOM In The Field

When non-veteran President Barack Obama has to use military force for the first time, do we get to call him a chickenhawk? What goes around comes around, bitches.

Cry Freedom!

Suddenly, this Alaskan independence movement seems like a good idea, doesn't it?

Welcome To The Inferno

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

A Second Chance At Greatness

Has anyone noticed that the PG's Early Returns blog doesn't suck today? Bill Toland is back! I actually got to enjoy Early Returns when he was a regular there. Leave it to the PG to farm him out to the Casino Journal blog. If we're lucky, they'll keep Toland in the ER (heh!) past today, but I wouldn't count on it.


Every four years, when we have a Presidential Election, I inevitably hear about how there is a youth movement gaining ground, how so many young people are registering for the first time and getting involved, and how the younger voters will make a difference in the way things are run.

Oh -- and they are all "liberals", i.e. "progressives". Allegedly.

This is such bunk that I can not take it seriously anymore. Having had plenty of time to think about it over the twenty-three years that I have been voting, I have come to the conclusion that the "youth vote" is a myth. Young people getting involved in the political process has nothing to do with being more concerned about the future than previous generations of American youth. The reason so many younger voters appear to be active is that they are legally eligible to vote for the first time ever. Of course they're getting involved in the current election. It would have been illegal for them to vote in the previous one.

Making a big deal about the youth vote in a Presidential election is like going to bars every four years and noticing that there are more people between the ages of 21 and 25 drinking alcoholic beverages. Or checking drivers' license stats and finding that there are kids in their late teens who weren't driving four years ago.

When there are more forty year olds registering to vote for the first time than eighteen year olds, that will be news.

Barry's Kids

It was very easy to vote for George W. Bush in 2000 and 2004. Albert Gore and John Kerry were such obnoxious assholes that I considered my votes for GWB to be symbolic punches in the nose to those two honorable Senatorial gentlemen.

Barack Obama, for all of his insulting and divisive rhetoric, at least sounds like a decent human being when he is talking. Neither Gore nor Kerry could pull off the right tone. Unlike Gore and Kerry, Obama does not display the condescension worth of a punch in the nose.

The goofshits who support him are another matter, however.

I work at a place where there are a lot of 18-22 year olds, as well as a lot of professionals whose livelihood depends on public funding. Needless to say, you would almost think that Obama was running unopposed if you hung around the place for a while.

It's not just where I work, however. It's on Facebook. It's on the blogs. It's on the editorial pages of our nation's newspapers, as well as on our TV screens. It's on the fronts lawns all over my neighborhood. (What kind of exhibitionist needs five Obama bin Biden signs on his lawn, anyway?) It's in the opinion polls -- oh wait.

I never took part in any opinion polls. I don't have ANY signs in my yard. I don't give a shit what the media tells me to support. I keep my politics off of Facebook. My blog is anonymous and very small-time. In other words, my political views are well off the radar.

While it still looks like Obama's time to win it all, I still harbor hopes that I am representative of a silent majority that will put John McCain over the top. Whatever happens, the next few years are going to be quite a ride.

And I might just speak up if the Obamacrats make a big deal about the election results, come what may. The little dorks.

Vote Early, Vote Once

So, now that my votes have been cast, who did I vote for? Surprisingly, most races had Republican candidates for whom I could vote. John McCain, Sarah Palin, Tim Murphy, Tom Corbett, Tom Ellis, and Chet Beiler all received my vote. The State Representative race between Democrat Dan Deasy and a Reform Party candidate was a joke, so I added a punch line by writing myself in.

If you live in the 27th District, vote for me.

In addition, there was one question on the ballot, something about floating municipal bonds to pay for something or other. Ed Rendell called me the other day -- he sounded like he stopped in the middle of eating his sandwich to record a robocall -- and urged me to vote YES. So I voted NO.

The dearth of uncontested races made it easy for me to finish up, get out of there, and go home to say good morning and farewell to my offspring before heading out to work.

Mikrowellen gegen die Wahl

There was a medium-large sized sign next to the door where I entered my polling place. It dictated two things:

  1. Cell phones must be turned off before entering the building
  2. No picture taking is allowed inside.
It could be that the bureau of elections is concerned about people taking pictures with their cell phone. Sometimes you can't tell if someone is using their phone to text or take pictures. Or maybe they don't want anyone tying up the line by calling someone to find out who to vote for.

I'd like to think that, with all of the other alleged problems that electronic voting machines have, the experts have determined that microwaves from cell phones -- you know, the ones that cause cancer -- interfere with the voting machines and cause people's votes to register incorrectly.

At least, that's the excuse that some people are going to use when their candidates don't win tonight.

I'm Number Five!

When I went to my polling place this morning at 6:45 AM, I was eighth in line. One minute later there were at least twenty people behind me. What good timing.

Five minutes later, one of the two honeys just ahead of me in line took off for parts unknown. I was now number seven in line.

Five minutes after that, another door opened up. The election people wisely decided to make the two districts enter through separate entrances. I was already at my district's door, but the honey in front of me and the guy she was talking to had to move to the other entrance. Now I was fifth in line.

Five minutes went by, and the Constable opened the door to let us in. Sure enough, when I signed in at the table, the Commissioner circled put me down as the fifth person to vote this morning.

In the FIFTH district of my borough

There must be some significance to the recurrence of the number 5 in all of this, but I couldn't possibly say what it might be.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

That Doesn't Scare Me

Last night I walked around my neighborhood keeping an eye on my immediate descendants as they looted people's porches for tooth decaying sweets. Since I was just there to herd them in as they went from house to house, I spent most of the time surveying the yards. As with any holiday, there were some fantastic decorations adorning people's residences. The coolest one was a giant screen in someone's front yard playing the classic Mel Brooks spoof Young Frankenstein -- right next to a John McCain sign.

That surprised me. There were plenty of political signs along the way, for candidates from County Council to President, but all were for Democrats -- except the Young Frankenstein house, and one other a few doors down. The abundance of residential political advertising at Halloween time amuses me. How many yards were there with ghosts, witches, fake graves, coffins...and an Obama sign? Quite a few in my area. It's like Obama signs were the top Halloween decoration this year, intended to scare people. People like me.

It didn't work.

Every time a Republican is in office, or is running for office, or there is a general shift to the right in general opinion, some twit will proclaim that "(person or policy) scares me". Like, "George Bush scares me". Or, "the anti-choice zealots scare me". With these people, it's always "scary" that "this person" thinks "this way" about something. Say hello to the politics of FEAR. Everyday is Halloween for the people, without the candy.

When the scared person is a man, the testosterone deficiency is evident, as is the stupidity. If you don't like someone else's views or plans for running the country, you are supposed to stand up for what you believe in and fight for it. Going on some national cable TV news show and telling the world that you are scared is not an act of boldness or defiance. I know I don't sit there and think, "That man says he's scared. That's the kind of leadership we need!" I laugh at the poor bastard and proceed to ignore him.

Next time you heard some lefty liberal telling you that Sarah Palin, or whoever, is SCARY, try to give him a good swift kick in the balls. Don't worry about hurting him. There won't be anything to hit.